i lived with a child of snow [entries|friends|calendar] brinley [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[23 Mar 2009|08:05pm] remember me, livejournal?!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 comment|post comment

[19 Feb 2008|09:08pm] out of the yellow/blue/red memory::: i was sitting at the bus stop and just studying, and there was a girl sitting next to me about my age and she was studying too. she was reading a book about islamic design & patterns, and i was reading a book about early ballet startings. i kept looking at her through my peripheral vision, you know how you can see through tunnels on the sides of your eyes? and i just thought that she looked like someone a cute girl that i could get along with. her bus came, and she hurried and gathered all her stuff all around her and ran to jump in the long line into/onto it. she left her book on the bench, right next to me, almost it seemed like she left it on purpose to see what i would do. she was in line and she was looking straight ahead at the road and i was looking straight ahead at the bus, and then down at the book and back up at her, and at the book and at her etcetera a few times. i didn't touch the book. she got on the bus and i still had time to run and give her her book back, there were still more people in line. i still didn't touch it. the bus left and her book stayed by my side. i stared at it. i imagined opening it and finding a note with a secret code for a secret mission on it. or a nice note to me. maybe she was someone in someone else's body and it was a test to see what i would do. maybe it was her in her own body and it was a test to see what i would do. i moved to another bench and pretended like i had never seen it, and i hoped that someone else would take this burden from me and resolve this issue. the book never moved, and noone dared sit on the bench that it was left on. my bus wasn't due to come for another twenty minutes, and i kept looking at it through my tunnels and finally a guy with a mustache came over. he was talking on the phone and he grabbed the book like it was a lost book that some girl left behind and laughed on his phone and walked away. i watched him walk all down the street until he went out of vision, and then my bus came and i hopped on board and decided not to let something like that happen again ever. post comment

[26 Mar 2007|11:04pm] i can't write anymore! i haven't been thinking! i've been saying things all gramatically over the place and i don't make sense! i don't know what i'm trying to get at here, other than that i've been feeling like i am going to throw up/ cry/ and laugh all at the same time, over maybe one phone call! and it's a funny feeling that makes me feel like my stomach is floating, and then all of a sudden i am back again, or my stomach is, and i am normal and human. i feel like taking a bath. i feel like making a list of things that i am going to do over the summer, and taking a picture of a girl with a long neck. not a real girl, but this girl in my mind that i've created who has a normal healthy body, but her neck is a two feet long with a 3 inch radius white plastic stick, and on top is a white ball/galaxyshaped disk. /she is in the forrest!! is it forest or forrest? i need some caffiene. i feel like sticking my head underwater and opening my eyes and listening to simon and garfunkel and watching things upside down and falling asleep in the water. i feel like a lot of things, like young and old and nostalgic and out of body and in of body and smart and stupid and everyanything but maybe not healthy. as in, my stomach is bloated and i've been doing sit ups for three weeks now and i still feel fat. i think i am going to go overdose on vitamins and see what happens. this is the truth! these are the things that i haven't been able to write down in my own journal!!! i told this kid chase that i was going to write about how we were at this table in village inn at two in the morning and he gave me a dollar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so wilde!!!!!!!!!!!! post comment

[17 Mar 2007|01:14pm] ROBOTS CAN DANCE 5 comments|post comment

[05 Feb 2007|08:56pm] [ music | atom and his package ] ok winter you can stop now!!! i feel like going on a blade-run. this song makes me want to be really funny and fun all the time. post comment

[21 Jan 2007|09:50pm] WRITING ABOUT GHOSTS SEEMS 2BE THE NEW TRENDY THING 2DO!!!!\ THIS IS 2 THOUSAND AND SEVEN post comment

everything you do shows your hand [09 Aug 2006|07:56pm] the stars have left me. they packed their bags, said goodbye and traveled two states over because i guess the moon didn't want them and they couldn't handle the sun. and i guess it doesn't matter because it's my fault, it always has been and always will be. and it doesn't matter if i sit here and fold origami stars in the attempts to replace them because hearts can still break even miles away. and maybe it's a nice distraction to see the sea sometimes but i still still still do not want to look down and you do not want to look up and i guess that's the problem we have. i remember when i walked to your house one day and you weren't there. i went into your room and i left all my folded creations on your pillows blankets dressersclothespicturesfloor everything. you came home and called me and we made brownies over the phone together because we couldn't be in the same spot. we could see eachother from across the highway and we flashed our lights just to prove that we were there... that even though you couldn't hold me while i was crying, your light was on across the highway and you said you were sorry and you didn't know what else you could do. and that was enough, then. i needed something there for me and the light in your room and the smell of fresh brownies over the phone was perfect.  i moved out of that house and you wouldn't want my stars even if i hid them under your blanket. i guess the light was good enough for me but it wasn't enough for you and instead you had to take my heart in with the sea and no, i do not want it buried down there. i'm sorry.  i never thought that the moon would change it's tide on me like that. never in a million years. 14 comments|post comment

[10 Mar 2006|02:22pm] [ mood | 1, 2, 3, 4 ] i wish books would end in page one and count up from there...i like to know how much is left, not how far i've already gone. 2 comments|post comment

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